UPPER NILE – In many countries, especially for boys, it is still normal to be taught that crying is a weakness.
In Renk, it became a symbol of strength where none of what each of the more than 4000 incoming refugees and returnees in the past two weeks have been through can be considered normal, or even bearable.
All have experienced loss. For some, it’s their past. For others, their future.
Like Abdulgadir Sabah Elk Heir Rahman, a talented electricity technician student.
Despite having fled the war in Sudan and arrived safely in Ethiopia a few months ago, he has since encountered harassment, threats and violence in what should be a safe haven. But he endured.
What he couldn’t endure was knowing his family was still in Khartoum.
“I had nothing, no money for transport, nothing. But I had to go back and see them. Nothing else mattered,” remembers the 23-year-old.
So, he convinced a stranger with a car to take him there. Explaining his desperation, the driver took him for free.
But nothing could have prepared him for what he found on arrival, when members of his community informed him that his entire family, including nine siblings, had been killed.
“How can you ever prepare for something like that?” he wonders, still searching for answers during long sleepless nights.
He is now staying at a transit center, holding on to his biggest hope of continuing his education. To find something to keep his mind occupied.
For Abdulgadir Rahman and all participants, a three-day trauma relief workshop, hosted by the United Nations Mission in South Sudan, provided a safe space to share their experiences.
“When everything becomes too much, try being like the rivers that float across this earth,” explained trauma specialist, Peter Aba. “Some things may be truly unbearable but accepting that every emotion can be, will allow you to accept the realities that have been.”
And so, it was. Everything and everyone were accepted, with no one left to break down without at least two others catching them.
From crying together to being in silence when words failed to describe the horrors they had seen.
For many participants, this was even more valuable than the trauma relief tools themselves.
South Sudanese returnee, Bakhita Kalichan, has felt close to breaking point ever since arriving and taking care of her younger brothers in 2023.
“I can’t even explain what this meant to me,” she explains. “Not only didn’t I think that there were people out there that want to help us fight for our lives – meeting all the other participants made me understand that I’m not the only one who is fighting. There are many people out there that fight as hard as I do, which gives me the courage to move forward. Together."
As they have been ever since. Connected through various channels, they are now united in managing their pain as well as hopes for the future.
Proving to themselves and the world that even the heaviest burden gets lighter when carried together.
“I don’t know how to keep going. But I know I will not be moving forward alone anymore,” declares Abdulgadir Rahman.
By Jaella Brockmann
